Pride Month is More Than Just a Celebration

June is Pride Month and is celebrated all over the world. Here in the US, you will see many corporations and organizations changing their logos, celebrating Pride or otherwise acknowledging the month.

But what is Pride? The etymology of the word “pride” comes from Latin “primus,” meaning first. Eventually it was adopted and changed to mean “of primary importance and quality.”

For many, it means satisfaction or pleasure from your achievements.  It can also be attributed to acts of significance by someone close to you or even someone’s possessions or qualities.

However, I’ve always viewed pride as something of an obstacle. Perhaps it is the therapist in me, or maybe my own inability to admit success, but I’ve seen numerous instances when pride can prevent someone from admitting a fault or error.  It can insulate a person against growth or new ideas. Therefore, I see the “Pride” celebrated during June as something somewhat separate from the traditional ideas and definitions.

When I joined Lincoln Prairie, one of my directives was to help grow and support our LGBTQ population. As such, not only did I engage in training and research, but I helped start and run an LGBTQIA+ group with the help of the local Springfield PFLAG group.

PFLAG stands for parents, families and friends of lesbians and gays. It was started in 1973 by Jeanne Manford and her husband after their gay son was beaten at a protest. Today, PFLAG chapters all over the world help support the LGBTQIA+ community, offering support, education and a variety of programming.

In the groups I ran, there were several older members of the LGBTQIA+ community who had experienced aggression just like Manford’s son. Initially, I didn’t think a 70-year-old man would have much in common with some 14-year-old kid wrestling with his identity.  Boy, was I wrong!

In these groups, the late Buff Carmichael (look up his amazing legacy if you want extra credit) almost always connected with at least one of the kids at Lincoln Prairie. Not only did these kids have a mental health diagnosis, but they were struggling with their own identities, including their sexuality, gender identity and gender expressions. And the members of PFLAG were always there to answer questions and lend them support.

I quickly learned a few things.  First, I found that kids from the LGBTQIA+ population were incredibly easy to connect with. Essentially, one only needed to show compassion by sharing your pronouns, using theirs and making it clear that they were in a safe space to express their true identities. Second, I realized I could be a supportive, caring, informed ally to the LGBTQIA+ population, but I would never be a true member. To me, this is where Pride comes into play.

For me, I am proud of some of my accomplishments, not things handed to me.  I don’t feel pride in my German ancestry, the color of my eyes or skin or my native language. These are things I was born with, not something I achieved.

In contrast, those in the LGBTQIA+ population can be proud of who they are, because they have retained their identity in the face of opposition. Every day, someone who is LGBTQIA+ faces scrutiny, prejudice, hatred and even violence. If you are someone who must face such obstacles and strive to keep true to yourself, you deserve to feel pride, because your identity is not just something given at birth, but an accomplishment.

During the Lincoln Prairie LGBTQIA+ groups with PFLAG, a lot of our kids struggled with the loss of support when they came out to their family or friends. Buff always told our kids, “Find family in the people who support you.”

If you’ve never been to a Pride parade, I urge you to attend one. The first time I went, I was amazed. There were so many people smiling, laughing and just being free. It took me a bit to realize that this happiness came from the feeling of them being able to express themselves around others with similar struggles who understood their feeling of achievement at retaining their true selves. They had found their family. I’ve still not experienced a more compelling example of what Pride means.

So, in June, and every month of the year, we at Lincoln Prairie celebrate the Pride of the LGBTQIA+ community. We see you. We support you. We delight in your successes and happiness and hope that this Pride Month you feel the love and support from your community.

Chas Swearingen is a community liaison for Lincoln Prairie Behavioral Health Center. He obtained his Master’s in Clinical Psychology from the University of Illinois- Springfield and has worked exclusively in the mental health field for the last 12 years. His mind still spells “liaison” and “prairie” incorrectly, even if his fingers get it right sometimes. He lives in Carlinville, IL with his wife, their sons, a big brown dog and a cat which adopted them.